Family & Friends
Group Leadership
Our volunteer group leaders have a wealth of wisdom to offer other families and friends who want to help their daughters, sons, partners, friends recover from an eating disorder. They don’t claim to have all the answers, but they can provide a warm and supportive environment to deal with the grief and pain involved, as well as provide some practical advice and helpful strategies.
We are always happy to welcome new people into leadership roles. Your commitment would be once a month and we would provide professional support and supervision to make your task a little easier. Just contact EDF by email or phone 02 9412 4499.
What to expect
These support groups provide a place for families to discuss their mutual problems, and to provide encouragement, solace and a non-judgmental understanding of the pain experienced by those supporting a person in the throes of an eating disorder. As one mother said in a group, “I only came to find out if I was really going mad or to see if other people felt as I did.”
A key feature of our family and friends group is the presence of people who have recovered from eating disorders. So often, it is difficult for a family member to understand the thought processes of the sufferer: talking to one’s own daughter often elicits denial, obfuscation or a misleading minimisation of the problem. Yet families and friends are a key to the recovery process and a chance to sound-out one’s thinking (or behavioural responses) with people who have “been there”, can illuminate future exchanges.
An indirect benefit of these groups is that they provide a powerful reinforcement that recovery is possible. Hope is often nearly extinguished by the time people attend a group - yet the presence of those in recovery can remind us that there can be life after an eating disorder.
Location
EDF runs the following support groups:
Northern Districts Support Group
Meetings held the 3rd Thursday of every month at 7:15pm
Southern Districts Support Group
Meetings held the 1st Tuesday of every month at 7:00pm
We do not advertise the location of the groups to maintain privacy and safety. If you are interested in attending or require more information, please contact us on 9412 4499.
Invitation to join us
Hi everyone,
As most of you know, EDF offers a support network for friends, siblings and parents of people with an eating disorder. There is help at the end of the phone, and monthly meetings in several places in Sydney, where those who care, or need help and ideas, or need to let off steam can gather. What you may not know is that EDF offers email counselling for families who are too remote to attend meetings. We even help people overseas!! We are looking for more families with the experience of dealing with eating disorders, who can offer some email contact for other people, to help them through the bad times. If you can help, please email edf@edf.org.au
We also have a regular column in the newsletter, specifically aimed at families and friends. So send in your questions, letters or anything you want us to address in the newsletter.
I guess the first thing that any parent/friend of someone with an eating disorder needs to learn is that, no matter what you do, you are wrong! Whatever you say, whatever approach you take, you are wrong. OK. Feel better now? I bet you thought that all the anger, resentment and cruel comments were your fault, and that you were taking the wrong track, didn’t you?
Firstly, a person suffering from an eating disorder is often full of anger and frustration, and they have no effective way of expressing it, or letting it out. Occasionally, however, they pay you a strange, back-handed compliment - they need to let out some of the anger inside them, and so they strike out at the people they know they can trust. People who will not give up on them, people who love them, people who will support them, no matter what. Weird as it may seem, if your child or friend seems so angry that you keep waiting for their head to spin around and green stuff to come out of their mouth, they must actually (deep down…) like you!!! Instead of allowing yourself to react against this person, or feeling really hurt by their attitude, be comforted by the fact that you sometimes are a real help in being abused!!
Secondly, be a bit kind to yourself. Everyone in the whole, wide world messes up sometimes. Everyone in the whole, wide world sometimes says the wrong thing, reacts badly or handles a situation poorly. Don’t beat up on yourself for being human. If you handled a situation with someone with an eating disorder badly, wait until you are calm and collected, apologise, and move on. Show by example that you can say something wrong, say sorry, and work on doing it better next time
And remember, THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME!!!
Caring about someone with an eating disorder is rotten, hard work. However, remember, (most!) are special, magical people, who are a little bit lost at present, and one day will be happy again. And as soon as they are well and happy, you can dump on them really big time, and get them back tenfold. Look forward to it!!!
Love Jan